Today was THE day

 

As a nanny or caregiver I find there is a specific day parent's dread. It's the day their child wants me more than them. Well today was THAT day for my little buddy Ronan!

     You see I have been with this guy since he was a few months old. He will be two next month, that is a lot of days and a lot of hours to be in a kid's life.

     Here's what I know:
He sees me and it means we get to have fun.... Art, outdoors, games and songs. His time with me is scheduled and focused and the rules are always the same. I am the fun maker and the snuggler and he knows I will be there to encourage him.
He sees me and it means the "magic bag" comes with. It means that we will play with things that he has never seen before and I will get crazy with him.
When he sees me he knows he is safe and loved for who he is.

     Here's what else I know:
You ARE his mommy, he knows that! He loves YOU!
When he has a bad night YOU are there to snuggle him. When he feels bad YOU are the one who takes him to the Dr to feel better. When he's having a temper tantrum it is YOU who guides and directs him and it will be YOU who he emulates in life. YOU are the most important person in his life and you are doing a great job Mama!
     It is not easy for us as we see the pain on your face as your kiddo cries for us at the end of the day.
I hope when you see your little babes love their caregiver, instead of feeling sad you feel so grateful for someone who loves on your kiddos as much as you do. I hope you feel blessed that your kids are safe and well cared for. We are all in this together!

 

Where has time gone?

     Ever have a break in time where your feel like the whole world has moved on and for some reason, you are stuck? Maybe it was a loss of a loved one, a loss of a job or losing a home. In the financial crisis that has been happening over the past few years I never realized the devastation that losing a home could be. I watched houses all around us get foreclosed on and it never really sunk it that a family was losing their home! Soon they would be shuffled and all they knew would be changed in a very short time. In February 2015, we too, lost our home. Not to foreclosure but to a fire.
     I watch as the whole world seems to go on and I want to scream, "we lost EVERYTHING!" In reality we didn't lose everything. We have our kids and pets and everything else is just "stuff" as many like to point out. I want people to understand and yet they can't. All that "stuff" was 20+ years of memories and items we had purchased to make our house a home. Can it be replaced, some of it. Are memories only stored in photos and handmade quilts? Of course not, but I just want the world to acknowledge our pain. I feel like no one wants to hear of the troubles. I try hard not to be a "pity party" kind of person, but can someone please understand the devastation this has caused our family!
     I recently visited with a friend who I have not talked to since our fire. She said to me, "well I said you could let us know what we could do and you never called." First of all, we lost our phones so the message you left was never received. Secondly, if I had a penny for everyone who called or messaged me in the first few days saying they'd help I'd be rich. If I gave a penny back for everyone who did nothing to help I'd be broke. Words are fickle, you have to follow through.
     It has made me open my eyes to the kind of friend I have been. Friends who have had surgery or sick kids with chronic issues. Friends with cancer or who have lost a loved one. How many times I have I been the one that says, "let me know how I can help." And waited for them to reach out to me?
That can't be how it works, we have to show up and provide care. A meal, flowers, a prayer, a hug or even just an "I want you to know I'm here."
     Within a few hours of our fire I was sitting across the table with the Red Cross volunteers and they told us that people would be all over us to help in the first few days and then there would be no one. Man did he nail it! He said, "you need to divide them up into categories where they can help and use them, they want to help." That was far easier said than done as we lived in complete shock for about the first month. However, we did ask for help with getting instruments to be cleaned....nothing. Help cleaning as we headed into a rental that had a filthy kitchen...nothing. Help moving.....almost nothing. Help getting the house ready to put on the market when I hurt my back.....nothing.
Oh yes we got bags and bags and bags of clothes and donations and gift cards and we ARE SO GRATEFUL, but we need to not take the easy way out. We need to be involved in the lives of people. Will it be messy? Yup. Will we see tears and hear things we don't want to? Absolutely! Will we get tired of hearing the same stories and complaints? Probably. Will we be the kind of friend who truly lives the word "friend?" You betcha! Will we be blessed because we were a blessing?  You better believe it!!
      This journey we have been on has been the scariest roller coaster of my life and roller coasters are always more fun if they're filled with friends. I challenge you to be the friend someone needs today, I know I am going to bring a meal to someone who I should have visited a week ago and I just put it off. Not today, today I will follow through!
    

Mom Guilt

It's been a long time since I posted. I guess life gets busy and all the messy stuff you find out you need to deal with is not something others may want to read. I see all these pretty photos on FB and the kids that are doing amazing things and sometimes I wonder..what have I done wrong? Then it occurs to me that probably behind all of those beautiful photos were the same tears, frustrations and not so nice words that were shared before our family photos. When asked to do things with the family my 17 year's go to phrase is, "family time ALWAYS goes wrong." And you know what, he's right. At some point it does, not because we don't TRY to make it the best trip or experience. However,with six personality types, not to mention Aspergers and ADHD thrown it, it can go from sweet to saucy in a matter of minutes.
I remember when we were new parents, we were going to be the parents that limited TV time, our children were going to be involved in sports and exercise, eat healthy and by golly, if my child didn't eat what was put in front of them, there would be no other option. Well, I AM that mom who, by those standards, has done it ALL wrong. Lunch yesterday consisted of each of them making their own meals. One pizza. one corn dogs, one ate a sandwich and the other chose cereal. I was outside weeding the garden and they were inside on electronics. I have come to realize that I have great kids! I AM a great mom. God gave ne these children to raise and he knew I was right for them. So today I will let go of the Mom Guilt and enjoy the precious moments I share with each of them. I hope you too can let go of the guilt...we are in this together mamas.

The Journey Continues....

October 2011

The Journey Continues...

I haven't written an update to my weight journey and I figured it was about time! Many of you have seen it unfold on FB or in person and have asked what I've been doing. I wanted to put it in the blog so if it inspires you in any way or if there is a take away you can use from my journey then I hope you can be blessed. From my original post Down With the Weight I included my original photo and the beginning of my weigh loss journey. Today I am by no means at the end, but I wanted to share with you what I have been doing.

Photo taken Jan 2012

I started going to the YMCA 4-5 times a week to do water aerobics.

Why did I choose it? Bad back and knee

What almost held me back? I didn't feel comfortable in a bathing suit, everyone there was 30+ yrs my senior, I didn't know anyone

What have I found? The people are so sweet, no one cares how I look in a swimsuit, things I couldn't do with my body at week one I could do after about week six.

 

Soon I upped my routine to include water boot camp a more intense water workout and I also tried land zumba class. My body was getting so much stronger and I didn't have chronic back pain.

 

During all of this I wish I could say the weight was just dropping off, but it wasn't I was getting frustrated and Jason would say, "muscle weighs more than fat." UUGH men! However, he was right, but it still should have been coming off, so I joined weight watchers online and stated tracking my eating (which I did not think was horrible.) Like I thought, I was at or under my points everyday so I looked into other eating options and started "eating clean" in January. No more processed foods, sugar and white flour. That is where I started. I try to eat every 2 1/2 hours and always have a complex carb and protein. The weight started coming off. People were commented how young I looked, how great my skin looked and finally started to notice I was losing weight.

June 2012

 

Like I said the journey is not over and there is still more to go, but I feel good with the healthy journey I'm on  and I have even recently been able to introduce a body pump class into my schedule which is a weight lifting class. A year ago that scared me so much, now the possibilities excite me for what my body can do. Oh there are days where my back and my knee still scream at me! However, I feel stronger and healthier than I think I ever have in the past!

Asian Drumsticks

These Asian inspired drumsticks are finger lickin' good! It's hard to believe they are low in points (my husband kept asking me if they were WW friendly as he cleaned the bones!) The glaze would also be great with thighs or wings. I served this with steamed vegetables to make this a complete low fat meal and drizzled the remaining glaze over the vegetables. Also would be wonderful over rice. Thighs would also work great in this recipe, but chicken breast would get too tough. If you must, remove chicken breast after 15 minutes, then allow the sauce to reduce down.

Have you tried Sriracha hot sauce (the one with the rooster on the bottle)? This stuff is very addicting!! I think it may one day be as popular as ketchup! This spicy Thai chili sauce is available in many stores including Walmart these days, but if they don't sell it near you, you can buy it online.

Asian Glazed Drumsticks
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 4 • Serving Size: 2 drumsticks • Old Points: 5 pts • Points+: 5 pts
Calories: 213 • Fat: 4.7 g • Protein: 27.5 g • Carb: 12.7 g • Fiber: 0.4 g

• 8 medium chicken drumsticks, skin removed
• olive oil spray (I used my Misto)
• 1 cup water
• 1 tbsp Sriracha hot sauce (more or less to taste)
• 1/2 cup balsamic vinegar
• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 4 tsp agave nectar (or sugar)
• 3 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 tsp ginger, grated
• 2 tbsp chives or scallions, chopped
• 1 tsp sesame seeds

In a heavy large saucepan, brown chicken on high for 3-4 minutes with a little spray oil. Add water, balsamic, soy sauce, agave, garlic, ginger, hot sauce and cook on high until liquid comes to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered for about 20 minutes. Remove cover and bring heat to high, allowing sauce to reduce down, about 8-10 minutes, until it becomes a thick glaze, turning chicken occasionally. (Keep an eye on glaze, you don't want it to burn when it start becoming thick) Transfer chicken to a platter and pour glaze on top. Top with chives and sesame seeds and serve.

Perspective

    Today I have been a little on the bitter side. I don't know why, just kind of frustrated with stuff in general.
1) I was upset that Emily had an orchestra concert tonight right before the end of the trimester and that she had to have all black clothes and shoes of which she did not have in the closet. Just as perturbed it cost $65 for a simple black dress and shoes at Target.
2) I was in a foul mood over the fact that the teachers have been assigning mounds of homework this close to the end of the trimester. Emily had come home upset and told me her teacher said, "don't have your parent's email me and ask for an extra time, I've given you plenty of time to get this typing done." Yes he had, except the link for the page only started working this week so now all the kids are behind in the lessons. (Emailing him was on my agenda for tonight before she told me I better not)
     So tonight we went to McDonald's for a little treat. 3 peppermint hot chocolates, a strawberry smoothy and two cherry pies. The lines were long and before we were done ordering the guy said oh, you'll have to tell the guy at the window the rest of the order. No big deal. We get up to the pickup window we have a bag with 2 pies and a tray with a smoothy and three hot chocolates so we head home.
Then we sat down to the table and I started to hand out the goodies and when he starts eating Gabe says, "this isn't a cherry pie...it's really good" I didn't know what it was but it smelly yummy. The girls and I tried our hot chocolate which was not peppermint and I was not happy. Gabe looked at me and said, "Mom, It was probably just a mistake, everyone makes mistakes." Yes Gabriel you are right everyone makes mistakes. Thank you for some perspective. Sometime Mommy just need a shot of perspective!
Thank you God for this little boy, who I believe you gave me, to be the perspective giver in my life.

My little angel today

Ever have one of those days where your in total meltdown, you cry, get angry, just want to be in bed. Now imagine that times ten and that's the kind of time we have after school in our home with Alex when there is homework. It creates what I call the tornado effect. The whole house becomes a fury of chaos. Is there a way we can solve this issue? I don't know, I asked the ARC (autism Resource Center) if it was too much to ask for no homework in his IEP. They said that can be tricky but if there is mastery then there doesn't need to be homework.
So today was conference day.
I went over to the high school and the first teacher I saw was Alex's Algebra teacher, this is where he struggles the most. One thing about autistic children is that sometimes odd things set them off. For Alex, numbers and letters being in the same equation doesn't make sense. Doing homework with the same problems over and over is problematic for him. The bad part of math is that it is a certain requirement for graduation that must be mastered. "Mastered" what does that mean? He knows it, so why do all that homework?
Throughout the next hour I saw all of his teachers, mostly he is doing great with the exception of homework. Two of his teachers didn't even seem to know that he has Aspergers and gets modifications and resource room help. How does that happen? I felt like I was holding back tears the whole time as he is feeling so overwhelmed and my heart melts for him. I understand that the pace is much more grueling at the high school, but for a kid like Alex, we just want them to graduate without hating it so much they never want to do another bit of schoolwork again, or get out of bed, or move out and get a job.  Ok, that may be a bit overboard, but days when he has a day off I can hardly get him to do anything, that's certainly not what I want for his life. He is such a bright kid with a tender heart and I know he will do great things, we just have to get over the homework stumbling block!
When all was said and done he got glowing character reports from his teachers and I met with his case manager who is going to remind the teachers about his IEP and work to get homework lightened.
After Jan and I visited she introduced me to a teacher at the high school who also has an autistic son who is 15. We talked and talked, she was so compassionate and it seems Alex is not alone in his reaction to homework. Her son has had the same issues with teachers not knowing he has Aspergers and feeling like he is getting lost in the shuffle. She told me to email her any time with questions or concerns and that she is a parent who totally understands it all.   Thank you God for her, my little angel in the day today!