Perspective

    Today I have been a little on the bitter side. I don't know why, just kind of frustrated with stuff in general.
1) I was upset that Emily had an orchestra concert tonight right before the end of the trimester and that she had to have all black clothes and shoes of which she did not have in the closet. Just as perturbed it cost $65 for a simple black dress and shoes at Target.
2) I was in a foul mood over the fact that the teachers have been assigning mounds of homework this close to the end of the trimester. Emily had come home upset and told me her teacher said, "don't have your parent's email me and ask for an extra time, I've given you plenty of time to get this typing done." Yes he had, except the link for the page only started working this week so now all the kids are behind in the lessons. (Emailing him was on my agenda for tonight before she told me I better not)
     So tonight we went to McDonald's for a little treat. 3 peppermint hot chocolates, a strawberry smoothy and two cherry pies. The lines were long and before we were done ordering the guy said oh, you'll have to tell the guy at the window the rest of the order. No big deal. We get up to the pickup window we have a bag with 2 pies and a tray with a smoothy and three hot chocolates so we head home.
Then we sat down to the table and I started to hand out the goodies and when he starts eating Gabe says, "this isn't a cherry pie...it's really good" I didn't know what it was but it smelly yummy. The girls and I tried our hot chocolate which was not peppermint and I was not happy. Gabe looked at me and said, "Mom, It was probably just a mistake, everyone makes mistakes." Yes Gabriel you are right everyone makes mistakes. Thank you for some perspective. Sometime Mommy just need a shot of perspective!
Thank you God for this little boy, who I believe you gave me, to be the perspective giver in my life.

My little angel today

Ever have one of those days where your in total meltdown, you cry, get angry, just want to be in bed. Now imagine that times ten and that's the kind of time we have after school in our home with Alex when there is homework. It creates what I call the tornado effect. The whole house becomes a fury of chaos. Is there a way we can solve this issue? I don't know, I asked the ARC (autism Resource Center) if it was too much to ask for no homework in his IEP. They said that can be tricky but if there is mastery then there doesn't need to be homework.
So today was conference day.
I went over to the high school and the first teacher I saw was Alex's Algebra teacher, this is where he struggles the most. One thing about autistic children is that sometimes odd things set them off. For Alex, numbers and letters being in the same equation doesn't make sense. Doing homework with the same problems over and over is problematic for him. The bad part of math is that it is a certain requirement for graduation that must be mastered. "Mastered" what does that mean? He knows it, so why do all that homework?
Throughout the next hour I saw all of his teachers, mostly he is doing great with the exception of homework. Two of his teachers didn't even seem to know that he has Aspergers and gets modifications and resource room help. How does that happen? I felt like I was holding back tears the whole time as he is feeling so overwhelmed and my heart melts for him. I understand that the pace is much more grueling at the high school, but for a kid like Alex, we just want them to graduate without hating it so much they never want to do another bit of schoolwork again, or get out of bed, or move out and get a job.  Ok, that may be a bit overboard, but days when he has a day off I can hardly get him to do anything, that's certainly not what I want for his life. He is such a bright kid with a tender heart and I know he will do great things, we just have to get over the homework stumbling block!
When all was said and done he got glowing character reports from his teachers and I met with his case manager who is going to remind the teachers about his IEP and work to get homework lightened.
After Jan and I visited she introduced me to a teacher at the high school who also has an autistic son who is 15. We talked and talked, she was so compassionate and it seems Alex is not alone in his reaction to homework. Her son has had the same issues with teachers not knowing he has Aspergers and feeling like he is getting lost in the shuffle. She told me to email her any time with questions or concerns and that she is a parent who totally understands it all.   Thank you God for her, my little angel in the day today!

A "War" with my youngest son

While having a battle with my youngest child yesterday I became painfully aware that these days too soon will be over. You know, the ones where your child asks you to actually play with them or they voluntarily give you a hug "just because your my mom." So yesterday when Gabe came to me and said, "will you play a war with me, if you're not too busy. How long will you be busy, mom?" I made a conscious decision to have a war.
I think of how many times I have been "too busy" to sit down and have tea or play Legos or have a war with my kids. Too busy doing what? Letting their lives flee by me, that's what. Who cares if the house is clean (well to an extent) or if the dishes are done now or in an hour. Why oh why do we let the "things" of life really rob our joy in raising children. My older kids don't even want to "play" anymore. We have to beg them to have a family game night. I know hind sight is always 20/20 but it would have been great to listen to my mom when she said there will be a time when you will greatly miss all the messes and noise of young children. I am already feeling that as Alex heads to high school in a few weeks. He is more concerned with video games than mom. The girls who will start middle school in the same few weeks are equally as uninterested in playing, although they still think mom is pretty cool (mostly because I'm the makeup and nail ticket.)  They still beg for tea parties and I still say "later." Well....today I make a conscious choice to do what they ask. So we may be "playing" all day, but it'll be worth it because these times are fleeting and too soon the noises and messes will be gone. They will all get a hug from me today too, whether they like it or not...even that high school boy!
Thanks Gabriel for reminding me that "mom, play a war with me" is more than a suggestion it is a life choice...to play or not to play.
    

Down with the weight

I have struggled with my weight all of my life. Some of it real, some of it perceived and some of it from comments made by other people. A couple of years ago I had a tough time emotionally and man did those pounds pack on. I often avoid mirrors and rarely let anyone take a photo of me. Sometimes when I look in the mirror it's either, "wow, I'm not as fat as I think I am" or "Holy cow, look how fat I am."
I came to the realization after vacation this year that if something were to happen to me, my kids wouldn't even have photos of me. So I made a mind shift and decided this is it! Since that time I have been working out and trying to eat better. It has already been a challenge which I would have normally given up on, but I have to do this for me! So here is my before total and photo, I hope to be down by 15lb by mid August.
June 20th...Day 1 weight 175#

A reflection on the past year

I can't help but get emotional when I think of all we have come through this past year. It was hard to watch the 8th grade slide show for graduation without feeling complete pride and gratefulness. I'm am so grateful, first to God, that Alex is here to graduate! Secondly, I am grateful to all the friends, family and teachers who have supported us through the past year. It has definitely been a journey, that is for sure, and one that is sure to continue through high school.
 I am equally as proud as I am grateful, as Alex has tried very hard this year. Emotionally he has had a wonderful year...well except for sex respect class which is, "just gross, Mom." He never wanted to go to that class!
I know yesterday he was real sulky so as much as he is ready to leave middle school there are things he will certainly miss, like his friend Gabe and, of course his second mom, Mrs Cooper.
After graduation was over he bolted towards the door, he just wanted to get out of there. No cookies or photos with friends he just wanted to come home...I think he's ready to move on.
We are excited to see what lies ahead in his path to adulthood. Mr. Zuzek talked a lot about getting involved and doing well in high school and I really hope Alex heard that...I just wish for him the best high school experience ever!

A Day of Challenges and Joys

If you remember in my original post I stated that we have a child with Asperger's Syndrome (mild autism.) If you have ever had the privilege of watching Parenthood (Tues nights on NBC) you may have seen a glimpse of life with a child with this condition. First and foremost we often do not know what "sets him off" and today was no different. Today was the day he was to find out if he made the A honor roll (which has been working all trimester to achieve) and he also had a large math test he wasn't prepared for. Alex woke up early and seemed very sleepy. So at 7:10am I said we needed to get moving or he may be late for school. He dragged his feet and started "grunting" at me, which he does, I think to keep from saying something inappropriate to me. Finally, after much prodding he started to eat and then I went to take the dogs out and I heard him yell at Emily. When I came back in he had tried to hurt her, needless to say I came unglued at him. So frustration ensued from all parties and then I sent him off to school. This, I promise, is never a good feeling as a mother. So I was fighting back tears most of the morning over it and then Mrs Cooper (his case manager) emailed...He did it! He made the A honor roll. Almost that quickly I forgot about the horrible morning we had just come through and my mom feelings swung all the way to the other extreme! I am just so proud of him. This last 11 months has been such a challenge...fear, faith, sadness, joy, uncertainty and love are just a few of the emotions that have overtaken me. It is amazing how God just places those blessings right where they need to be placed to make it all worth it.
And if that wasn't new enough Emily placed #2 in the entire 5th grade spelling bee. She told me...I can't believe I missed gnarled! I know it has a silent g. It blesses me and melts my heart that they are learning and growing. I have learned in my business that with growth often comes discomfort, but we have each other and that's how we'll make it. Day by day we will meet the challenges head on...I'm sure it will be messy at times, but without a test there is no testimony.

Why I Started a Blog

I started a blog after my friend Sara got hers up and running. I had thought about it for awhile as I think it is the more appropriate place to put my thoughts on all things family.
If you are looking for a blog about a happy family with no challenges and issues who have it all right, you've come to the wrong spot. However, if you, like me, wish that children came with instructions then this will be a great place to hear and share ideas. We daily encounter; how to teach our children both faith and knowledge, run a business from home, deal with one child with Asperger's Syndrome, live in and constantly fix a house built in 1880 and manage the schedules and housework of a family of 6. Not to mention when my husband is on "shutdown" for work and it all gets even crazier.
Some days there are a lot of tears, but mostly we just enjoy every silly moment with a lot of laughter. We want our home to be a place of love and understanding and to be better people because of it. Our family motto is: God made us all different and that's what makes life a challenge and also what  makes life a lot of fun!